I Won't Give Up

For the times where I really felt like running but couldn't, I biked instead. Each time, it would give me at least an hour to listen to my music and think about many things like how school was starting soon, etc. I actually did enjoy these moments I spent with myself, but I always thought it was quite different from running and never really enjoyed it as much. I biked 26km two other times since the first and I still never really found joy in that activity. For me, it was just like spending an hour, sitting on a chair, listening to music. Except for your leg muscles, nothing else is really being pushed. And I like to push myself!
After going to the physio Tuesday night this week, he told me things were getting really better. He even looked impressed with the progress that had been made and said I could run again! Oh the joy! After hearing that, right away I planned when exactly I would go and how long and where... The next morning, I woke up slowly, ate a good breakfast then put my super woman costume on and zoomed out of the house. I was smart enough not to push myself too hard and ran for 2 minutes, then walked for 1, alternating like that the whole way through for 3km at a slow pace during 19 minutes. I was so happy and in my mind I was already thinking of all the things I could write on my blog when I came home and how happy I was! At about 300m before I would hit 3km, I started to feel something, not pain, but something, in my hip. Right away I remembered how my mom told me to be careful and stop immediately when it hurt. I finished the run but after that, as I walked home, I started to feel something more and more growing in my leg. Not too much, and it wasn't pain, but I knew that if I had continued, I probably would have went back to square one. I walked all the way home and through the park on the corner of our street where I could see my mom, all happy, waving at me with a camera in her hands. She told me from far that I should run in order for her to take a picture of me in motion for the blog. I just shook my head and right away she knew I wasn't too happy. At that moment when I took off my shoes, I just couldn't hold back my tears. I was just so disapointed that after the hard work and exercises that I had done, nothing had seemed to improve for me. My mom called the physio and her friend who had gone through a similiar injury, but far worst, and talked with them to see if it were normal that I still felt something. It turned out that it was and that I shouldn't get discouraged. It was hard not to after thinking about the little improvment that I seemed to had made. I even had a soccer practice that very night and could still feel something in my leg. It was maybe at a 2 on a scale of 1-10. It has discouraged me ever since and I haven't gone running again. I'm just so scared that it gets worst or that I have to start over again. It really takes away the pleasure of running for me right now. I really badly wished I had never had this problem. But, I'm not giving up. Olivier hasn't, so why should I?